Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
