I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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