i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
