i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize