bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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