my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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