their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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