Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
