This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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