Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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