Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He better not be in your backpack
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
