there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
