i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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