I puked a lego.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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