Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
