I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
