And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
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sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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