She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
