Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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