I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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