Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob