I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
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the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
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my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
and you fell through a lawn chair