they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.