Walk of Shame. In a state park.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
