are you still at the devil's house?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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