She announced her abortion via fbk
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
