I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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