Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
