Need sex. Gaining weight.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
