Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
