I just cut my nipple shaving
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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