whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize