they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
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