this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
