You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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