I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
