Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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