You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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