But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I looked at my own cervix.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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