I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
