i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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