I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Randomize
