you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
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