What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
