fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
