just come out here and I will go home with you...
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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