I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize