she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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