wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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