i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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