That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
