I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
