I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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