I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
