But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
