love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
