Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize