The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
